No Thank You


In music, art, literature, life, television we often hear a variation of a phrase ‘thank you for making me stronger’ or ‘thank you for showing me I can survive anything’. The sort of “thanks for making me a fighter” of Christina Aguilera’s Fighter.

I hate this attitude.

People who treat you badly, who force you to dredge up the last of your strength and your courage should be villified not lauded.

You are responsible for your own power, for your own survival, your own bravery.

People who hurt and lie and abuse get no credit for how you manage to survive them.

We all have people who help us when times are tough, we have friends, family, professionals, strangers who do something to make us feel better, safer, happier. These are the people to look to.

When you are at rock-bottom, look to the people who are laying down there with you, not the people who pushed you down to begin with.

Some of the songs are brilliant and I am impressed by the optimistic attitude of songwriters but I hope people remember that they don’t need to be grateful for the bad things that led to better things.


One thought on “No Thank You

  1. You’re absolutely right. If they should be thanked for anything it’s for putting someone in the position to realize their own strength and powers. “Thanks for forcing me to realize I can survive without you”, “Thanks for showing me what fighting for survival means to me” it then becomes far more of a backhanded compliment 🙂


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