I started using the phrase ‘under the weather’ to describe when my depression was bad because it meant that friends/family knew what I was saying without my needing to use any triggering words.
However it’s actually a really good way of putting it.
I’m in one of my lowest patches that I have been for years. My mental health is very well looked after by my doctors. ALL PRAISE THE NHS. And I have a great team. But this is nothing to do with them and just one of the bad times that inevitably come.
I feel like the weight on the sky is pushing down on me. I do feel like I am underneath the weather. A building pressure.
There’s something about being able to read the signs of coming weather – to notice the small changes and be aware that a storm is coming. And that sometimes it can still just creep up on you from nowhere.
I’m going to talk a bit more about my depression and anxiety to help make things clearer for myself and also to let people into my head, to try and open up the illness a little more. I’ll tag those posts #undertheweather so you can avoid them if this triggers you or seek them out if you are interested.
I am going to try and take care of myself and remember how to be kind to me. Be kind to yourselves too.